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• Derealization and depersonalization plus#

Repeating OCD/DP thought: What if I’m not real, what if nothing around me is happening? Instinct reassurance/rationalization response: It has to be real. So you get back on the horse and try to answer the questions, and you’re stuck in the never ending anxiety loop. You try to rationalize everything going on in your head but you can’t and no matter what solutions and reassurances you formulate, your ocd/dp/dr invalidate them after a no more than a few hours. So now you try to be Socrates and answer all the philosophical unanswerable questions.

Maybe I’m not really talking to this person, are they really there? Omg, am I really here? Am I real? *panic*. If you’re suffering from DP like I was, you might be reading this thinking “what if I’m not even really reading this, what if it’s a projection of my imagination, or a dream?” Constant streams of seemingly crazy thoughts: what if I died and everything going on around me is just some kind of matrix, its not really happening. Please read about general ERP on your own for well-explained strategies, but the main idea is to face your fears, accept your thoughts, and live with uncertainty. ERP teaches you to short circuit your obsessive thoughts with what seems extremely counter-intuitive and anxiety/panic-inducing strategies.

Finally after a decade of suffering, I really feel like I have rewired my brain with his ERP therapy. I used my obsessive tendencies to read “Freedom from OCD” by Jonathan Grayson and apply his strategies religiously. Only in the last year I was finally diagnosed with OCD, (its called the invisible disease for a reason) and finally went on a completely different therapy route than what is prescribed for anxiety. It was just labeled as anxiety and treated accordingly. Once the DP/DR was fought off, it didn’t take long for other OCD thoughts with the same severity and pain as DP, to make their way in my head, even though I hadn’t known it at the time. I “got over” that specifically after a couple years, with a few relapses. My DP/DR started when I was 16, almost a decade ago. It can also take the form of depersonalization. It can also be ‘pure-o’ ocd relentlessly thinking about a specific intrusive thought, problem, image in your head, a word, etc. It can be something “traditionally OCD” for example, if I don’t organize this in a specific pattern, x y and z will happen and it will be catastrophic. It isn’t cute or fun or passive characteristic, its debilitating repetitive thoughts, usually about something that threatens you. If you’re new to the game OCD isn’t just what you see in movies about things having to be neat. It took years for me to get over it completely because while the above approach may ease the pain a little and offer a placebo that you’re getting help, I really believe that DP/DR are a form OCD, a symptom of OCD, not a disorder on their own, and need to be treated as such. I’m here in case you’re one of those people, desperate for help, scouring reddit maybe my experience will speed up your recovery. I spent countless hours desperately searching the internet for relief, tried any and all supplements, and a psychiatrist’s prescription of Zoloft.

Derealization and depersonalization plus#

I’ll spare the details of my symptoms which vary per person and per stage, plus I’m writing this in hopes of helping somebody who is already suffering and knows exactly what it is.

I had what I thought was the worst case of depersonalization and/or derealization. I’m writing this because as a former DP/DR sufferer, I think I have an obligation to help others out of it, and this is the best way I can, even if nobody reads it.